Cowabunga Salsa!

   Headed to work party or pot luck and you don't have time to make your grandmas -insert name- famous -insert filling- pie?  This salsa will wow the crowd and you'll spend so little time on it, you can even paint your toe nails to match you purse.
  If you do not have a food processor... Well, you should really fix that problem.  They're 40 bucks, and you'll never be sorry you bought it.

Semi-Homemade Salsa

1 large can of diced tomatoes
1 half bunch of cilantro
2 cloves of garlic
1/2 onion, large chop (yellow or white)
1 or 2 fresh jalapenos, large chop(1 seeded and de-veined equals mild, 2 seeded and de-veined equals hot, 2 whole equals very hot)*
squeeze of lime
salt and pepper to taste

1. In your food processor, pulse the half cilantro, the garlic and 1 cup of the canned tomatoes until they are almost a liquid. it will turn a weird greenish color, this is good.   When you have achieved this poor it into a large bowl and add the rest of the tomatoes.
2. Without cleaning out the food processor add the onion and desired amount of jalapenos, pulse them until they are finely diced, add to the tomato blend.
3.  Season your dip with lime (start with half, taste it, and add more if you want it), salt and pepper (again, taste it, remember the chips will add a a salty taste so don't go crazy).  If you over do the lime/salt/pepper add a tablespoon of sugar, taste it.  Is it better? Add another tablespoon and taste again.  Better?  No, well, you probably messed up somewhere, that's on you./
4. Get yourself a bag of chips and practice acting humbled when you get bombarded with compliments.  Cheers!

 * Do not use canned jalapenos. They are gross and only should be consumed as a last resort for heat.  Without getting into the science of it all,  removing the seeds and the white veins on the inside of a jalapeno and using only the green skin bits makes the jalapeno pretty mild.   I recommend taking out the veins, they are pretty bitter, but hold on to the seeds and add them for some sweet heat.  Don't forget to wash hands!